Monday, September 29, 2014


I write about the power of accepting yourself for who you are now, so you can hear what you need to hear to get out of your comfort zone, and your fears that you’ve called hell. 

When I write I want to know you’re comprehending what I’m really saying, not what you’ve heard in the past from false prophets and motivational quotes. 

I write so that you can pay attention to your desires and dreams and learn something new about yourself and perhaps make a conscious effort to learn something new every day so you can grow from within. 

I write because we need to come to peace with our past, failures, our insecurities no one else ever see -- so that we can move on from the self-inflicted judgements -- from our shame.  

I write about self-care and acceptance because I’ve suffered from lack of self-esteem and neglect, and not until I paid attention to what I needed instead of what I wanted, did I realize and understand who I am. 

I write about pain because I know what loss and suffering mean and how blissful happiness can feel. 

I write about faith because I’ve lost mine in the past, and I know what it is to be lost, broken and in need of redemption. 

I write about gratitude because I am thankful for all of this -- good and bad. I’m grateful for being a human being -- a woman.  


Grateful Child

Dear God
before I lay me down to sleep and rest my head in Your comfort, I want to tell you how grateful I am for the circle of women and men You have placed in my life. 

You have blessed me abundantly with these beautiful and amazing children and beautiful loving friends. You have bestowed upon me so much knowledge and love through them. 

My dear sweet Lord, thank you for the blessings You have surrounded me with.
Grateful child I am of yours for loving me so much.



Oh dear Godlet it rain. 
Break this heat. 
Cool this fire burning on my skin. 
Let me breathe again.

Oh dear God, let it rain. 
Let the winds blow on my hair. 
Let me see that fierce lightning in the sky. 
Let the thunder roar. 
Drench me with your tears. 
Cool this fire on my skin.

Oh dear God, let it rain. 
Let me breathe again.


Monday, September 15, 2014

TIP OF THE DAY ― Feeding New Moms

The best gift you can give a 'new mom' or a sick friend/loved one is ... a beautifully prepared meal or food. One of my close friends had a baby this weekend -- congrats to the *Moore family*! It's been almost 10 years since I've had my own newborn, but you never forget that transition and how you barely have a moment to pee or clean, let alone feed yourself! Well, the best gifts I got with all my babies' births were the kind that I could eat and not have to work hard for; the ones that gave me energy to get through those very hectic days and weeks! I remember the Meyers, my next-door neighbors, coming over with a basketful of goodies. The gift and memories stayed with me and will remain with me forever. I have learned from the Meyers to extend the same gift to all my friends and loved ones. Now that's a gift that will last a lifetime!

― LRAEBROWN © 2012

Sunday, September 14, 2014

ON BEING A WOMAN ― Sometimes

Sometimes, I don't feel like giving it "My All."
Sometimes, I don't feel like "Bringing It."
I'm not always at my "Best Game."
I'm not always the "Best Mother."
I'm not always the "Best Friend."
I'm not always the best "Me."
I'm human.
I've accepted that.
I've come to peace with my low points. 
I'm OK with not being perfect. 
I do know this ― after I get through an obstacle, I AM going to give it my all.

― LRAEBROWN © 2014

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

ON BEING A WOMAN ― Survival Skills

Funny how often I get accused of not having the ability to subject myself to strong emotions; whatever that definition is to most people. It's not that I don't want to, it's that my volume is turned down, lower than most. And I'm very productive in resolving any human relationship problems, issues, hurdles when I'm aware of them.  Just because the world doesn't get to witness me fall apart, it doesn't give anyone the right to judge the fire in my heart. Just because I don't wear my heart on my sleeve or show you, you, and YOU my vulnerable side, it doesn't mean that I'm emotionally incompetent. It's just my own survival skills to help me remain graceful through adversity. 

I can love, give love, and be loved. I can show you all of this. As the circus master of life lessons pokes his stick at me to jump for his amusement, I can put my emotions aside and just observe while being taunted. I won't overreact, faint on the couch, get out of control, or perform for others. It's very rare for people to see me fall apart. I can hold the sweetest smile and maintain a graceful stance while turmoil erupts in my heart.  

 I have my own way of processing love.
― I have my own way of processing pain.
― I have my own way of processing challenges. 
― I have my own way of resolving problems. 

It's true, I have experienced loss in many forms. I've buried more friends and loved ones than anyone could handle in two lifetimes. I have been in every natural catastrophe known to man, whether physically or nearby. I know first hand what hunger, starvation and defeat feels like. I've witnessed human beings at their worst while living their own personal hell. While others are mourning, I'm the one being asked to pay the mortuary bill. While others are drinking and getting high to bury their pain, I'm the sober one making the funeral plans. While others were crying, I've had to walk in a room of nightmares without showing my own emotions or response. I am the one my loved ones trust to fall on when all hell breaks loose. It has been a horrible burden to carry. My family and friends trust and know they can depend on me at all times. I am the one who will drive through a tornado and be at their door by daylight to provide help and support. I am the backbone of my family. I've accepted this responsibility willingly. I've worn this uniform for way too long to change who I am. I know who I am and the role I've been assigned.

I ask that you just be there. Enjoy me, when the champagne, laughter and good times are flowing, but don't expect me to perform for your own emotional needs. Unless you're willing to invest your time and heart in my life, or wipe the tears from my face -- reserve your opinions to yourself. 

No one has walked in my shoes. 
No one has trudged the roads that I have, paved only by God himself.

― LRAEBROWN © 2013 


Whether the pain is temporary, 
inconsolable, or a burden of a lifetime, 
truth is, we are all hurting inside. Pain left 
unresolved is in all of us. We can't assume to know 
what pain others are going through or have been through, 
and we should not judge others for not having conquered
 their pains, if we have not walked their path ourselves. 

We don't need 
to be the judge, jury and executioner of 
people's past and pains. We continuously make mistakes 
when we try to judge others, based solely on 
the assumptions generated by our limited perceptions. 

When we do judge 
we invite problems that most likely result 
in the destruction of friendships and marriages. 
We invite more pain, not to mention creating a climate 
of uncertainty and tension, and the breakdown of our own spirit.
To judge and condemn is only the sole right of God. 
God, who has all the insight and understanding 
that comes from having a superior perspective, 
unavailable to our limited human senses. 

Because we are all humans, 
we are not perfect, yet we are God's beautiful
children. God loves all of his people, 
regardless of our imperfections.
Love others unconditionally. 
Love yourself. 
Love conquers all.
Let go of the judgments.
Let God do his work.


Friday, September 5, 2014

L RAE BROWN On Being A Woman ― Finding me

ON BEING A MOTHER ~ Finding me

I spent ten years living like I was a "Stepford Wife" -- Mrs. "stay at home mom" from the 1950s, while my husband worked and pursued his career, seven days a week. I did all the housework, dealt with all the house repair issues, balanced our finances, cooked, raised the children, dealt with the in-laws, all the errands that go with the lifestyle, all by myself, and I had no support. At no fault to my husband, I allowed myself to believe, since he was a good provider, he gave me all his income, and I wasn't contributing financially after I gave up my law career, that I owed it to him to do the rest. I nearly lost my mind with that type thinking.

Having worked so hard all my life to make something out of myself, becoming a self-sufficient woman, to giving it all up without fully understanding how it would turn out was my own fault. In the process I lost myself. I lost the person I knew so well before the wedding bells and kids. I lost my own identity.
I know it might sound strange coming from me, but I had no clue that I had the right to ask for an equally supportive spouse. Back then, both of us did not know that an equal partner in life existed, or what it meant. We only knew from the example our parents showed us. We were raised to believe that a woman should be dependent on a man, and for the men to take care of their women. 

The funny thing about pain: pain will make you get up off your ass and fight back. Pain can make you confront any fear or insecurities. My pain gave me the wakeup call I badly needed to find myself again. Yes, it was unfortunate I gave up 'the me' I'd worked so hard to become. My beliefs have changed through this life experience. What I’ve learned in the process was that I didn't want my old self. I wanted the person I was becoming, a better me.

The benefit of giving up who I was? I became a much smarter, more empathetic, caring and a knowledgeable ME!  My children challenge me daily to be a better person. Through them, I have connected the puzzles of the hardship I’ve endured in my lifetime. When I imagine the lives they could have had versus the lives they're going to have from the experiences I have gone through, I’ve realized that my life’s lessons are meant to help me guide my children. Not only do my children benefit now from my experience, I too have evolved substantially. My Pops use to say, “We are only as good as we know.” As I watch my children grow and blossom, I’ll be able to see the difference in their lives. What a priceless gift I’m able to give my children, on a daily basis, now and forever. 

When my children were very little, I used to ask myself what was the benefit of being a parent. My answer now is that our children can teach us how to be a better person. Children teach us to humble ourselves and that compassion and love goes a long way. My children have shown me that I am a better woman than I ever was. I don't look back anymore and miss the old me. Because of my children, the woman I am today is the one I respect and love.
I am grateful, to be a mother.