Tuesday, February 18, 2014

COCONSPIRATORS IN LIFE - (an excerpt in the Novel, HEART ON FIRE by L Rae Brown, Vol 1)

COCONSPIRATORS IN LIFE

Four hours plane ride from Los Angeles, Stevie’s sitting by the window in a three row seat as she stares at the left engine, mesmerized by the sound of the humming. A couple next to her in their late fifty-something, Kara & Tony, married twenty-two years, with two kids. During the four hour plane ride they watched a movie together on their iPad. Submerged themselves into five cheap gossip magazines. Tony being fully involved in Kara’s interest of the lives of the stars. The two puzzles they worked on together. Kara & Tony discussed twenty  different subjects. One of which was how they were going to talk a family member into doing something, something for them. It wasn't the “something” that held Stevie’s attention. It was the way they talked to each other about it. The way they plotted and planned with such delight in each other’s ideas. The way she looked at him with childish admiration when he gave and added to their plot. The uninterrupted gleam in Tony’s eyes as he watched Kara’s mouth move, when she spoke. The childish excitement between them, as if they were fifth graders plotting a snowball attack against the world.   
It was poetry.
It was music.
It was even slightly ridiculous.
It was like a symphony, listening to their back and forth discussions. 
It was magic.
He never corrected her. She never scolded him. There were no doubts from each others contribution in their plan. There was only respect, admirations and joy shared between the two of them. They were a team. As their plot thickens you can feel their love secure.

Tears started rolling down Stevie’s face, down to her neck, burning into her skin. The same song blasting in her headphones the last three hours, Adele -He won't go. Yet for the life of her she couldn't memorize the lyrics. Witnessing Tony and Kara’s love was a sting with so much of reality in a dose. Stevie never understood what was missing in all her relationships with her men. Three marriages, two funerals, one pending divorce and twenty-seven years of loving men, yet she never had the pleasure of experiencing the magic that Kara and Tony have. At that moment, four-hundred thousand feet off the ground, Stevie understood what she wanted. Not a man who would cower from her beauty. Dread her spirit. Fear her magic. Hate her for his own inferiority. Punish her for the love she possesess so naturally or starve her of love and hide her from the world. Stevie figured out what it was she always needed, not what she had always thought she wanted. Her wants always changed with each men in her life. What she really needed ...what she always ached for in love, she wanted a coconspirator. She needed a coconspirator ...in this life. Someone who would plot the games of life with her; like Bonnie & Clyde, Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid. Through thick and thin and maybe some sins, but through it all ...together as coconspirators in life.  

Written by L Rae Brown
Copyright © 2012

Monday, February 17, 2014

COCONSPIRATORS IN LIFE (Excerpt of HEART ON FIRE by L Rae Brown, Vol 1)

Four hours plane ride from Los Angeles, Stevie’s sitting by the window in a three row seat as she stares at the left engine, mesmerized by the sound of the humming. A couple next to her in their late fifty-something, Kara & Tony, married twenty-two years, with two kids. During the four hour plane ride they watched a movie together on their iPad. Submerged themselves into five cheap gossip magazines. Tony being fully involved in Kara’s interest of the lives of the stars. The two puzzles they worked on together. Kara & Tony discussed twenty  different subjects. One of which was how they were going to talk a family member into doing something, something for them. It wasn't the “something” that held Stevie’s attention. It was the way they talked to each other about it. The way they plotted and planned with such delight in each other’s ideas. The way she looked at him with childish admiration when he gave and added to their plot. The uninterrupted gleam in Tony’s eyes as he watched Kara’s mouth move, when she spoke. The childish excitement between them, as if they were fifth graders plotting a snowball attack against the world.   
It was poetry.
It was music.
It was even slightly ridiculous.
It was like a symphony, listening to their back and forth discussions. 
It was magic.
He never corrected her. She never scolded him. There were no doubts from each others contribution in their plan. There was only respect, admirations and joy shared between the two of them. They were a team. As their plot thickens you can feel their love secure.

Tears started rolling down Stevie’s face, down to her neck, burning into her skin. The same song blasting in her headphones the last three hours, Adele -He won't go. Yet for the life of her she couldn't memorize the lyrics. Witnessing Tony and Kara’s love was a sting with so much of reality in a dose. Stevie never understood what was missing in all her relationships with her men. Three marriages, two funerals, one pending divorce and twenty-seven years of loving men, yet she never had the pleasure of experiencing the magic that Kara and Tony have. At that moment, four-hundred thousand feet off the ground, Stevie understood what she wanted. Not a man who would cower from her beauty. Dread her spirit. Fear her magic. Hate her for his own inferiority. Punish her for the love she possesess so naturally or starve her of love and hide her from the world. Stevie figured out what it was she always needed, not what she had always thought she wanted. Her wants always changed with each men in her life. What she really needed ...what she always ached for in love, she wanted a coconspirator. She needed a coconspirator ...in this life. Someone who would plot the games of life with her; like Bonnie & Clyde, Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid. Through thick and thin and maybe some sins, but through it all ...together as coconspirators in life.  

Written by L Rae Brown © 2012

Monday, February 3, 2014

Motherhood, Bliss...on a Cold Monday.




Motherhood on a Monday (For Me) goes something like this:
Playing Lawyer (say it with a southern drawl), on a shitty case, up before the dawn breaks just to make it into a cold court room, with a herd of sheep. Did I mention it is F-ing cold outside? Three hours later I'm back on the train, putting some hours in my writing. Maybe two or three tearful poetry, cause I've got to put some fire back into my soul, that was drained from that courtroom. 

By 3pm, my oldest kid gets home with a whopper black-eye from a snowball fight. By 3:30pm, my other two of the three walks in. One needs a haircut (in the worst way) and a project for his history class is due in two days. The other needs a new dress for her Daddy and daughter dance. "Mom what's for dinner" they all ask simultaneously, while my other brain taps me on the shoulder (Oh shit, the dog’s vet appointment was today, you’ve missed it again). 
With a smile I whisper, I missed you guys. 
Did you have a good day? 
They all tell me their day, all at once. 
I nod and I smile, like only a mother of 3 children can.

As my 3 magnum opus rush all around the house, to knock out their daily grind: 
Homework. 
Piano practices. 
Electric Guitar practices.
Put the dishes away in the dishwasher. 
Trash can duty. 
Argue with each other. 
Argue (some more) with each other.

Mom! One yells out from the bathroom, "We're out of toilet paper btw" and can you please wash my favorite gym outfit? Taylor chimes in, “Oh yeah Mommy, you promised my teacher you’d make 55 cupcakes for tomorrow.” Then all of a sudden I find myself in this store called Game stop. “How in the hell did I get here?” - (I ask my other brain) - I have 55 cupcakes to make for tomorrow and the batter is on my kitchen table. Wtf!

There was 5 other things I needed to do, before the night is over, what were they? I’m sure I have it written down somewhere. Then I look in my inbox message - it tells me I have 48 unread messages for today...are you kidding me? 

Motherhood, Bliss...on a Cold Monday.

― LRAEBROWN
© 2014


HEAVEN and HELL



There's something un-apologetically powerful, when a man can turn pain, into something beautiful. There's something un-apologetically humbling, when a man adores and loves a woman, without the need to give up his throne. Even when her honest words can cut like a sword, he is mighty and strong to melt them into steel bolts, then commands them to be life's lessons to build their castle on. There's something un-apologetically beautiful, when a King and Queen can love each other, even with all their faults. For they care not what each other have done wrong, but only for the love they share. And with that love, they will move Heaven and Hell to raise each others potentials, in this unkind world.


― LRAEBROWN
© 2014