Friday, October 30, 2015

"I don't know about you but, in my experience, assumptions and the wrong interpretations have held me back from the facts."



I was observing one of my daughter's favorite television shows, where the characters get in a deeper and deeper hole and inflict misery upon themselves because they're constantly assuming what the main character is up to. 
There's this consistent scenario in the plot where the characters' interpretations of the story are always off base. Sounds familiar? 

I don't know about you but, in my experience, assumptions and the wrong interpretations have held me back from the facts. I've learned to never assume I know what's going on with someone based on: someone else's assumptions about what's going on with that person. Because, apparently, they don't know either, they're just assuming too. People who are forming an opinion based on gossip, jealousy, insecurity, and immaturity—due to their emotions—are not reliable either. Nor is the opinion of people who don't have their own lives in order.

Often, we observe in people the good in us, or the bad. Or, we confuse our intuition with our ego. And when our reaction is based on the latter, it makes a situation a lot worse for us. If something doesn't sit right with us, we should ask for clarification. Instead, we make an assumption of someone's behavior, or the meaning of their words, based on our own emotions and limited knowledge of the situation. When we find ourselves conflicted, how much effort would it take to have the courage to ask for clarification?
We are only as good as we know. Remember that.


The Dream Is Free. The Hustle Is Sold Separately.


Dear Girlfriend,

If you have a special talent—you're an artist, a writer, an inventor—or whatever it may be that sets your heart on fire, and you can't seem to focus or make your ideas come together because you're currently raising your small child or children and you're constantly over stimulated and distracted, due to your maternal instinct on-switch always blaring...hang in there.

If (currently) your main focus is on being a mother, a superhero, the constant savior, cook, housekeeper, bill payer, fix-it-all-at-any-time problem solver, character builder of the little people you've brought into this world (as it should be), giver of a million kisses, the constant care taker of their hearts and spirit, and everything else comes second to any and all of those things...know this, it will get better. Your focus will get better. You'll get better and so will your talent.

As your children get older, they'll get a little bit more independent. It starts at around twelve years old. They start seeking out their own independence―their own talent, be it additional activities at school or after school, sports, clubs, hobbies, friends, or even just alone time on their own (locked up in their room). The hours you'll have for yourself will get longer. And those are the times you need to hone in on your skills. Those are the hours you need to read, practice, practice some more, learn, and as time, months, years pass on you will not have missed anything, because you were busy working on your talent while still being the Supermom for your children. So, for right now, while they're still completely reliant on your 24/7 attention, just breathe. It'll be okay. Just don't give up on your dreams.

I'm still there myself. My youngest of three is two months shy from turning eleven as I write this. And even now I notice the difference in my writing, my skills. My focus and thought process are getting better. One day soon, I'll look up and realize it's time to spread my wings and fly. But I'll be taking off running like a racehorse. In the meantime, I'm busy learning, preparing, and planning.
I hope you're doing the same. 


Thursday, October 29, 2015

A Woman's Needs


A woman who needs nothing is much more complex to most men.
The majority of women want kids, stability, a provider, a savior, etc., in some form or another.
So, when the modern day independent woman says she doesn't really need anyone, it can be bewildering to a man.

I've spent years and years building a life with men who didn't have my best interest at heart. As I've gotten older I've learned how important it is to be with someone who'll take care of me. Not in a materialistic or financial sense, but by taking care of my heart, my mind, my soul, and everything about me, in the exact same way I would take care of and love myself, and then some more.

As for the modern day independent woman cliché 
our culture constantly speaks of―I need love and 
I need to be loved.

I need to feel safe. 
I need someone to laugh with at 2 or 4 am.
I need to be told I'm beautiful by the man I adore. 
I need to be held at night in the arms of a man I trust.
I need to know that when I'm battling the world 
on a goal I'm trying to conquer he's right there fighting by my side. 
Someone who can hold his own while cheering me on with, 
"You've got this, Baby-girl."
I need a smart, confident, kind man who can see the long-term positive outcome.
I need someone who'll want to build an empire with me, and be so fucking 
stinking rich and happy with no guilt or apology. 
I need someone I can look at and say, "Wow people are fucked up. 
Let's travel the world or buy an island!" 
And if I can't accomplish my goals in my lifetime...I need someone 
who'll still love and adore me anyway.

All those monetary, materialistic goals and gains I've been trying to conquer on my own, they're just temporary bullshit that doesn't last long, and that's why I've set out to get them alone.


One day it'll just get better. There's usually no reason or explanation, you just wake up a brand new person...

A Brand New Person

How many times have you claimed true love for someone and how many times have you stood by your loved one's side through all their trials and errors? Although the reciprocation of love and devotion were limited, you made all types of sacrifices in your life so that they'd feel safe and loved. And as the decades wear on, the real person emerges and you start learning that the images you had of your relationship were broken. Yet, you continued to hang on for the love you once had because you're now deep into a full blown life of obligation and responsibilities of marriage, kids, family, and walking away is the most difficult option. 

How many times have you held love for someone when they were no longer physically there? Even though you felt like you were losing your mind holding on to feelings for and the belief in that person's words and character that had once caught your eyes, captured your heart, and opened the gates to future possibilities. Surely it was because you believed the love was real. Or was it because you felt you needed to make sure the portrait you had of them wasn't a lie you told yourself? Yet, you fought to hold on, looking for any reason deep within as to why the love had come undone. 

How many times have you made excuses and come up with reasons that, while caught up in the experience, felt like an easy fix to mend your broken heart from all the arguments, rejections, and silent treatments, so that you could wake up to another day of more of the same heartaches and disappointments? Only to prove all the years and puddle of tears were a waste of time and energy.

The truth is, we don't attract what we want. We attract what our subconscious mind will tolerate. The golden rule of love is: love yourself first, before you love anyone else. The person who'll love you will love you the same way you love yourself. If you've learned your lesson from your past relationships, if you learn to fall in love with yourself first (please don't get this confused with being cocky or being a selfish asshole)—I mean love and respect yourself―you'll upgrade in the next relationship. In the meantime, you have to forgive yourself. 

Once you stop tolerating less than the love you'd give to yourself, the pain will be gone and you won't be angry anymore. One day it'll just get better. There's usually no reason or explanation, you just wake up a brand new person that's worth fighting for.

On Miley Cyrus

You know that saying "Don't judge a book by its cover”?
Well, it applies to this young lady.

I read a comment on social media pertaining to Miley Cyrus that stated, “It’s just a damn shame she has to project such a vile persona to get attention. It speaks volumes of Hollywood’s ilk.”  

It’s not the “Hollywood ilk” that’s making her do this. The show you’re seeing Miley Cyrus put on right now is just an act, folks! 

Miley Cyrus has done, and is still doing, a lot of good with her money for underprivileged teens, runaways, teens with addictions and mental health issues who are in trouble with the law, or have problems at home and need a place to go.

There are people who’ll excuse her work by saying, "Oh, she’s just doing that as a tax write-off!" Have you ever founded or run such an organization?
If you've ever founded, facilitated, or run a program with teens, or kids of any adolescent age, you know it is emotionally, financially, and mentally taxing, and time-consuming! Any organization for children is simply not just a "Tax Write-Off".

Miley Cyrus’s current persona attracts and relates to many of today’s kids who find themselves in bad situations, and to whom her former persona as Hannah Montana, a wholesome teenager, wouldn't have appealed. That would be like Macaulay Culkin only coming out in public as the character he portrayed in Home Alone. He tried that and it didn't work out for him in the long run. 
Let me ask you something, when someone posts a "Go You, You're a Badass!” meme or quote on social media that inspires you, don't you relate to them precisely because of their persona or the feeling that they can relate to you?

Maybe she is maintaining the Hollywood fakery, but she’s doing her part to provide a much needed service for disadvantaged teens. Not all teens, and maybe not your teen, but this is where her heart sees the need, and this area does need it. 
There are some that will say “Sorry, I tend to disagree. I don't let my children watch crap and what she shows is crap. I commend her for helping the underprivileged, but, maybe she should also teach them the meaning of ‘wholesome’ instead of teaching them to be sluts.” 
Then don’t. 
Don’t let your children see her crap. 
They’re your kids and you have the right to instill in your children what you want to instill in them. You have that right and responsibility as their parent.
 Don’t take it so damn personally, though, as if her existence stops you from doing your job for your children.

And don’t forget, Miley Cyrus was a role model for many kids and did teach them what it is to be wholesome. She played that part in her Disney career as Hannah Montana. And Disney made billions off of that. Many of Hannah Montana’s concerts were sold out. Who do you think paid for those concert tickets and all the Hannah Montana merchandise? We did. The parents. 
The sad part is that when she played the part of that wholesome character, many of us parents complained and made fun of that too. We said she was “overrated” for her wholesomeness. Remember that?

People who get so upset at Miley Cyrus’s new image, or anyone alike, usually mention the word ‘role model’ and 'wholesomeness'. Children shouldn't be looking up to "celebrities" of any kind as role models! Nor is it a celebrity's responsibility to be a role model for your kid. 
Parents are solely responsible for bringing up their children and teaching them what their values are in how they live their lives. And if you as a parent have done YOUR JOB instilling your values in your children, no celebrity’s unpopular behavior should divert your children from those values that you’ve taught them and the wholesomeness that results from putting them into practice every day. 

Although Miley Cyrus has adopted this strange stage persona, I can respect the positives even if confused by the sideshow. I believe people's good can outweigh their ills. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Miley Cyrus fan, neither are my kids. But, I actually like some of her creativity (but by no means all of it). And although I would not promote Miley Cyrus's antics to my children, it is my job as a parent, as their mother, to teach my kids how to look at the world, life, events, situations...and think, rather than just follow everyone else's judgements. We are all the sum total of our works while we are here

If people could think outside the box more often, instead of buying into what's fed to us on tv and social networks, I wonder who then would be able to manipulate our thinking and decisions for a better society? A society where there are no runaway teens, no abused or molested kids, no teenage drug and alcohol abuse, and unlimited access to treatment for children with mental health issues. Instead, we're so fucking SENSITIVE about everything on everyone's take on any matter, even when there's a positive spin! Many of us tend to look at what's in front of our faces and react to how it affects our personal lives, emotions, and values. We all do it, for our own reasons, whether right or wrong. We just focus on the subject in front of us, without really stepping back and observing the whole picture. Our culture's normality is to take everything too personally. 
Yet, we say we're all different. 
To be "different" and to evolve we have to look at logic and humanity. More importantly, we have to look at the character of a person and what that person―or that group―that government―that entity have provided for us in their resumes throughout their time. Not the spin we see on the news. We have to look at the big picture, or else we will spin out of control and into complete chaos, individually.

Times have changed and people need to change their ways of thinking, or else we'll become more sensitive to anything and everything. We’ll become humans who won't want to see past what's in front of us, purposely. And we'll never take our eyes off that screen, even if it's just to look at the good we've instilled in our children's characters.

How long will Miley Cyrus's success last in this persona? Nothing lasts forever. We all go through awkward moments in our lives. And time will tell. But I for one can name several of her contemporaries that have set worse examples, yet came out ahead. And a few we now revere as humanitarians, damn near close to "Hollywood Royalty".
Remember when Angelina Jolie infamously kissed her brother James on the lips at the Oscar in 2000? The brunette Goddess was earning quite a reputation for herself back in the late 90's and part of the early 2000. Angelina, always one to be different, sported a pair of rubber pants and a T-shirt with her guy's name written across the back in her own blood, which she had drawn herself, according to the New York Times. Remember Billy Bob Thornton,  Angelina's second spouse? Enough said. 
Jolie told Vogue in 2004, "...I think it can happen when you get involved and you don't know yourself yet." Remember Angelina Jolie when she was in her twenties?

Hollywood has sucked the souls of many. Especially when your act gets old, or once your theme is no longer popular. Unless you're like the Meryl Streep type, unless you're Oscar material—many actors/actresses in the business become B-rate entertainers. Life is fast in Hollywood, it’s a circus. The audience has a short attention span.
 And once your time’s up, it’s up, Baby! It's Hollywood folks, and Miley Cyrus has understood how to use it, for what it is.


Monday, October 26, 2015


Someone asked me once, 
"Rae, at the end of your lifetime, what's your definition of 
a successful life?"

My answer was that I will consider having lived a successful life if all three of my kids grow up to experience:
1: Passion about, success in, and contentment with their character and the career they've chosen.
2: Never having felt they needed or wanted to drug or medicate themselves to endure life. 3: Looking back on their childhood and saying "Wow, that was fun mom and dad! And by the way, thanks for not having any substance abuse issues that you made us deal with or exposing us to your transient relationships and lovers. Thank you for showing us loyalty. Thanks for wanting to always be there for us and not being selfish." 4: Having a healthy and loving adult relationship with me and their father and constantly building and experiencing a beautiful life together. 5: Having a healthy and loving reciprocal respect for their siblings. It's not an easy task to be a parent. But what's even harder is the lifetime of regret or the excuses we'll have to swallow if our children do not get to live the serene childhood to which they're entitled. What we give up temporarily as parents is nothing compared to a lost childhood, tarnished memories, having to choose between two parents during the holidays, and a lifetime of constantly trying childhood experiences. I know we're all weak. We all have our downfalls that we hide even from people that are closest to us. We all have our daily routines that help us survive the daily grind of living. Here's the thing about parenting: it resolves itself. Children inevitably grow up into adults just like us. And just like us, our kids will need their parents as we also do, even now, as adults. As a child I grew up watching adults in their most selfish stages, where emotions, desires, and addictions overcame logic and common sense, let alone putting a child's basic needs before their own. Many people will say, "Well, what about the money and your life goal as an Author?" Let me be clear: none of the money, success, or fame will matter if I've sacrificed the gift that I've already been given, my children. And none of my words and writing will count, if I can't back it up with my own success in living. ―LRAEBROWN

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

What does doing the right thing mean?


Do you over think, over talk, over analyze your situation, instead of just doing the right thing?

When the shit hits the fan, when the pressure gets a bit too much for our comfort, or when a simple disagreement flares up, we tend to find some form of evidence to blame "someone else" for what's not going right. Anything will validate the wrong we think "someone else" is doing. 
We tend to go on a spiraling emotional roller coaster of blame, resentment, and doubt, due to our current limitations, emotions, and insecurities. We bring up the past and lump it up with the current problem, or we get frustrated because we can't seem to make them see our point. Then, we go into the survival thinking mode of "forget it, let that someone else figure out the problem and maintain their own happiness", right? Because it's easier to put the blame and responsibility on someone else. So much for trying to maintain our lives instead of pointing fingers.

Oftentimes that 'someone else' is our significant other—the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with—our closest and most trusted friend, one of our family members, or our kid(s). 
We forget that, just because we're part of someone's daily life, they might have a different theory on the situation. We're not meant to think, feel, and be exactly alike. We don't grow, evolve, and make our relationship's bond stronger with someone when they're always in agreement with us. If it were that easy we would lose interest due to boredom. Yet, when they're not on the same page with us, we react based solely on what we're feeling, instead of love and logic...and we wonder why people fail our expectations. Some of us do this for decades without seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. 

We over think, over talk, over analyze our situation, instead of just doing the right thing. Most of the time, the answer or solution when we're experiencing a problem with someone is just simply doing the right thing. 

What does doing the right thing mean? 
• When you don't assume that someone else's agenda is meant to hurt you, instead you give someone else the benefit of the doubt that maybe, just maybe, they're going through the same emotional ride that you are on. So, you become considerate of their feelings and thought process, just like you would want someone else to be considerate with you. 

• Knowing that, just because you have your own story on how things are going to happen, or not, it doesn't mean someone else will have the same thought process and experiences that you do to come to the same theory as you. 

• When you stop expecting someone else to do the right thing, because you know damn well change in your life starts (always) with you. 

Speaking of change: everyone wants someone else to change, but nothing will change unless you (purposely) do.


Like amber in a fire calmly burning...


I love this chapter of my life. This calm lull that comes from being in the moment. I’m neither sad nor happy. I’m not in love or heartbroken. I’m not lonely, aching, or pining after anyone. I'm at peace, for once. There’s no yearning for the unknown. There’s no unplanned spark stirring, or the desire to light a match, or start a dance. I have no false expectations for anything. I'm at peace, for once. Like amber in a fire calmly burning, this stillness in my heart feels so golden. I think I'll savor in the moment a little longer. I'm at peace, for once.


Tuesday, October 20, 2015



What price will you pay to experience every moment of your children's joy and laughter...?

How much would you pay to relive a kiss that lingered during passionate love making, and still plays in your memory like it just happened yesterday...?

What is the worth of your loved ones' time, if you were forced to bargain for their lives...?

Would you walk away from everything you owned, if it meant...if it meant you'll be with your beloved...till the end of time? 

"Experiencing time has no price." 
Some girls value the diamond watch, I value the time.


When something is meant for us, it will only be for us to succeed.


When I was younger and immature, I used to get pissed, or it would annoy me, when someone took my ideas and did something with them for their own benefit or gain.

As I got older, I realized the more I tried out my ideas, the more I would sharpen my skills and learn new ways to make them better. Till I surpassed my old ideas. No idea is original, the execution of an idea is what is original.
"Concepts are worth less than execution."
When I look back at those old ideas, I'm so glad I didn't use them, or they didn't work out for me, or someone else made use of them instead, because their only purpose was for me to hone my skills. That's all they were. The very best of all the ideas that have worked out for me, only I could have pulled off! The rest were just lessons, trials, tests, blueprints, and tools to help me master my craft. It's all part of the process of continuously evolving. 

That's the gift the universe and my life lessons have taught me.

When something is meant for us, it will only be for us to succeed. "What is meant for me will always be meant for me." ―LRAEBROWN

NOTE: I bet you're wondering why I used the portrait of The Monalisa. The Monalisa is quite possibly the most well-known piece of painted artwork in the entire world and one of the most duplicated art in our history.  Think about that.

Friday, October 16, 2015

"There's a voice within you that guides you. You have to learn to listen to that voice."


You're tired of feeling.
You're tired of thinking. You're tired of talking and listening. You're tired of worrying and planning. You're tired of being everyone's anchor.
You're just tired of being everything to everyone around you, and then some more. You don't want to conquer, let alone start or finish anything.
You don't want to put "all" your efforts into "anything". You're just tired. You just want to be quiet—be still—be left alone! Ever have those days when you're not feeling it? You don't want to be motivated. You don't want to be happy, but you're not sad. Ever have those moments when you just sigh, and say to yourself, "I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted!"? Not that anything's wrong or something's looming in the air. No matter how perfect someone's life might look from the outside, or how green the grass looks from beyond, we all have darkness within us. We're all busy and life can be overwhelmingly noisy. Everyone's life has sucky moments. Everyone's struggling with themselves about some thing or another. It's part of being human. When you've been tested and pushed for too long, or held on too long to your problems and past disappointments, there's a voice within you that guides you. You have to learn to listen to that voice. When life is biting at you, weighing on you, if you're doubting yourself, or if you've gotten too comfortable with your own demons, that can only mean one thing: it's time to get out of those four walls, get some fresh air, and let the sun kiss your skin. You have to know when to step off your comfort zone. We all need that moment and space where we can unload all our troubles, one that doesn't create other problems. The world will take care of itself. Yeah, you'll still have the same shit to deal with when you return, but at least you'll see with your own two beautiful eyes that life does go on. — LRAEBROWN

Thursday, October 15, 2015



I have read that great minds believe life's greatest demons reside within the souls of men. All our anger―our fears―our insecurities, and our constant doubts that haunt us, reside only within our minds. But, we've allowed our souls to believe these are our demons and that what we think is what we believe. Our reality is within our subconscious. But, we will never see it if we refuse to find focus.
If we'd only listen to our hearts, and pay closer attention to what's really important in our lives, we would find that the only instructions we've ever needed for a successful life are right in front of us. 

"Pain will teach you a lesson. Ego won't let you learn."




I once asked a group of friends: what's the difference between a dick and an asshole? The best answer I got was; "A "dick" is an "asshole" with purpose. It's intent driven to be a dickhole."

In our daily lives, contingent upon how much we put ourselves out there in the world, we will encounter people who's character just comes off as being a dickhole
Sometimes, people have no clue of the energy they share with others. They could be going through something horrifically challenging in their lives or just having a bad day. 
Sometimes, people derive upon purposely being a dickhole to anyone, to release or relieve their stress or ego on others. 
Whether it's an internal extension of what a person is going through, or their energy just emanates negativity purposely―understand, that it has nothing to do with you. Even if their chosen behavior, their respond or reaction of being a dickhole is intent driven towards you―understand, that it has nothing to do with you.
We behave, respond, react to people based on how we perceive anything. No matter how annoying it is to deal with someone, individually, we all have a choice how we respond, react, and if we want to be a dick or an asshole. Or we can choose to be a decent human being, and do all things with kindness. The energy we leave on the people we encounter, is an accurate prediction of our current reality, as well as our future.