Sometimes I don't feel like giving it my all. Sometimes, I don't feel like bringing it. Sometimes I'm not always at my best game. Sometimes I'm not always the best mother. Sometimes I'm not always the best friend. Sometimes I'm not always the best, of me.
I've accepted that.
I've come to peace with my low points.
I'm OK with not being perfect.
I do know this - after I get through an obstacle, I'm going to give it my all.
Your Life is not about YOU. Your Life is about what you can do for others. You can bang your head as long as you want - thinking it's about "you". When you finally decide to do for others first - then you (and not before) will learn and receive what you truly want & deserve in your Life.
I don't mean let yourself get used and abused by others, so don't get that twisted. If you can look at a situation (any situation) and automatically be able to ask yourself "how can this benefit others" - rather than "how can this benefit ME" - You have made a leap to your destiny.
I truly believe that we all possess a gift, a talent, original to any ones. Why should You, We or I, play small to anyones desire or belief? You & I, we are a gift to this world, to the people in our lives. Don't doubt it, not even for a minute.
and my postal delivery man, comes to my door at the same time.
My 3 kids are home for their winter break, listening in.
The Ups delivery guy, hands me his tablet that I need to sign. Out loud, he says, "I think this is an iPod". The Fed Ex delivery woman says, "hey, I think this package is an iPod too!" They both have a short laugh. I'm looking at both of them with an annoyed facial expression that says, "REALLY?!".
My postal man was standing behind the two, he proceeds to step forward. He hands me a box and says, "I don't know who's getting this package but I know it has coal inside."
Driving back from a meeting in Chicago this morning, I had this thought.
With all my projects, goals, desires and everything that sets my Heart On Fire. I commend the man who's going to be by my side. Who ever you are, just know, for that simple fact alone, that you're right there by me, through all of this. I'm going to love and respect you, with everything I have - and everything I never knew, I could give to a man.
Reading the post and the entire thread, is participating in a dialog. Taking a step back and analyzing the POST, the dialog and your comment(s) before you reply, is called; "Social Etiquette" & COMMON SENSE.
If we, want to find peace, in our mind, in the people we surround ourselves daily, we have to be brave enough to soften what has become so rough and insecure about our characters. We have to be good to our heart and let it feel the beauty that it's meant to experience. We have to take the responsibility to be good to ourselves, before we can be good for anyone else.
Pay Attention - who you take your advice from. Who you listen to. Pay attention to what goes into your heart and mind. Make sure it's not an imitation of someone's false unpracticed beliefs. Make sure they've conquered their own demons and has already turned their pains into a blessing. Know the difference and be good to yourself.
The magic in my life that I’m so grateful for: At twenty years old, I used my last dime and invested on a broken down, piece of crap, 1950s ―190SL. Yeah...I was hustled. Truth is, I won her on a bet off a Dallas Cowboy's game. The guy who lost the bet...only thing he owned in his name, was this old car. When I first saw HER, it was love at first sight. That’s what I thought at the time. I paid him some cash for the whip, minus what he owed me, for the bet. Instead of someone breaking his legs. After winning (buying) HER, I nicknamed HER, ‘The Piece of Crap.
She was the first Mercedes-Benz, I owned.
Yes, she looked smoking hot and sparkly, as if she just stepped off the runway.
― It was rough with HER.
― She had many engine problems.
― She had a lot issues.
― Many cracks.
― Many needs.
I can't even tell you some the most inconvenient places she has had a tantrum and just flat out stop working for me.
I must have called HER hundreds choice of names.
Trust me - I've thought of salvaging HER pretty-ass a million times, into billions of pieces. I've even entertained making a table out of HER.
Through the years my lifestyle has changed, while she remained in storage for almost two decades: Alone ― put away ― out of sight ― but still in my heart.
At forty-four years old, I can afford to fully restore HER. Maybe sell HER, for over 100g's. I doubt that. That would break my heart, to see HER pinks with someone else’s name on it. She belongs to me, always. Till my last days, and even after that.
On my forty-fifth Birthday - I'm flying to Seattle, rescuing HER from my mechanics shop and I'm finally driving my long time Love...to Chicago.
Late Yoga class for me tonight. I'm so grateful forAmanda, my beautiful Yoga instructor. Lately I've been enjoying the intimate company of Tony Horton in my Sauna room, him and I, down and durty with P90X Yoga.... but tonight I needed gentleness. Sometimes when we're hurting, internally or externally, we push away from taking care of ourselves. Little things that brings us joy or a piece of mind, can help us so much to maintain who we are. For me, today that little thing is Yoga, within the company of other women.
I'm not saying "try to avoid what ails you", I'm saying... be gentle with yourself. Have empathy for you. Cry, feel the pain, hurt, cry some more, but be gentle....with yourself.
Because how you treat YOU, is the energy you send out, on how the Universe should treat YOU, all the other days, of your life.
My mother was a dancer at a brothel; one of her customer was a young man in the service, who was so smitten with her, he wanted to take her away from the streets and bring her to America. So he asked her to marry him. Within a week they were wed in front of a judge.
She came to visit me at the monastery, where she had hidden me from my grandparents kidnapping attempts. I remember that day as if it was just yesterday; it was a cool spring morning. She had come baring gifts for me and the nuns. Beautiful little dresses and a bundle of pink peonies wrapped up in newspapers. I still remember the smell of the flowers, when she leaned down and presented them to me. She stayed overnight, something she had never done before, in the year I had lived there. She told me all about her grand plans for a new life that she had imagined for us, in the new world. She kept reassuring me that she would send for me when she settles in the "new world." Even though I understood everything she said, I didn’t believe her. I was only seven years old, I had already been broken in by the hustle of the streets that my mother raised me in. I didn’t trust anyone. She was my last hope. I remember sleeping right beside her all night. Her lips covered my cheeks with kisses. The smell of the lavender on her hair. She held me the entire night, as if her last breathe depended on it.
When dawn came, the mosquito blanket looked as though it was just smoke covering the bed. Even now at 35 years old, I can still remember the sadness and the heavy loneliness I felt, when I realized she wasn't laying beside me anymore. She was gone. She had left me, she snuck out in the night, without saying goodbye. I knew deep inside I wouldn’t see her for a very long time. The room was empty of a soul. That was the day I experienced my first heartbreak. My first sting. It was painful, brutal, real and poetically etched in my memory, as my first heart break.
Every year, before New Year's Eve comes around, I go through all my notes and pictures, to reflect on what I've learned and the extreme changes I've gone through. This is one of them.
At one point, I had 3 babies in diapers:
One new born.
One breastfeeding and
The other one struggling to wing off.
I was exhausted, that's an understatement.
I had no experience with babies. None.
They use to scare me.
Ask anyone who knew me, specially my sisters, they'll confirm.
I was once the Bachelorette of the year, of the decade.
Freedom was my partner.
Then one day, in my thirties,
I decided to do the wedding, house, dog, kids, in that order.
I didn't know anything from experience.
Only what I've read in books.
My spouse at the time was very driven with his career.
Only married women will understand what those three words means: Man. Driven. Career. That means a spouse who was barely home. So I raised three children all by myself. It was exhausting, lonely, but the happiest time in my life. Maybe cause motherhood comes with amnesia and unconditional joys.