|RANDOM THOUGHTS OF A WRITER|
Do you over think, over talk, over analyze your situation, instead of just doing the right thing?
When the shit hits the fan, when the pressure gets a bit too much for our comfort, or when a simple disagreement flares up, we tend to find some form of evidence to blame "someone else" for what's not going right. Anything will validate the wrong we think "someone else" is doing.
We tend to go on a spiraling emotional roller coaster of blame, resentment, and doubt, due to our current limitations, emotions, and insecurities. We bring up the past and lump it up with the current problem, or we get frustrated because we can't seem to make them see our point. Then, we go into the survival thinking mode of "forget it, let that someone else figure out the problem and maintain their own happiness", right? Because it's easier to put the blame and responsibility on someone else. So much for trying to maintain our lives instead of pointing fingers.
Oftentimes that 'someone else' is our significant other—the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with—our closest and most trusted friend, one of our family members, or our kid(s).
We forget that, just because we're part of someone's daily life, they might have a different theory on the situation. We're not meant to think, feel, and be exactly alike. We don't grow, evolve, and make our relationship's bond stronger with someone when they're always in agreement with us. If it were that easy we would lose interest due to boredom. Yet, when they're not on the same page with us, we react based solely on what we're feeling, instead of love and logic...and we wonder why people fail our expectations. Some of us do this for decades without seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.
We over think, over talk, over analyze our situation, instead of just doing the right thing. Most of the time, the answer or solution when we're experiencing a problem with someone is just simply doing the right thing.
What does doing the right thing mean?
• When you don't assume that someone else's agenda is meant to hurt you, instead you give someone else the benefit of the doubt that maybe, just maybe, they're going through the same emotional ride that you are on. So, you become considerate of their feelings and thought process, just like you would want someone else to be considerate with you.
• Knowing that, just because you have your own story on how things are going to happen, or not, it doesn't mean someone else will have the same thought process and experiences that you do to come to the same theory as you.
• When you stop expecting someone else to do the right thing, because you know damn well change in your life starts (always) with you.
Speaking of change: everyone wants someone else to change, but nothing will change unless you (purposely) do.