A Brand New Person
|RANDOM THOUGHTS OF A WRITER|
How many times have you claimed true love for someone and how many times have you stood by your loved one's side through all their trials and errors? Although the reciprocation of love and devotion were limited, you made all types of sacrifices in your life so that they'd feel safe and loved. And as the decades wear on, the real person emerges and you start learning that the images you had of your relationship were broken. Yet, you continued to hang on for the love you once had because you're now deep into a full blown life of obligation and responsibilities of marriage, kids, family, and walking away is the most difficult option.
How many times have you held love for someone when they were no longer physically there? Even though you felt like you were losing your mind holding on to feelings for and the belief in that person's words and character that had once caught your eyes, captured your heart, and opened the gates to future possibilities. Surely it was because you believed the love was real. Or was it because you felt you needed to make sure the portrait you had of them wasn't a lie you told yourself? Yet, you fought to hold on, looking for any reason deep within as to why the love had come undone.
How many times have you made excuses and come up with reasons that, while caught up in the experience, felt like an easy fix to mend your broken heart from all the arguments, rejections, and silent treatments, so that you could wake up to another day of more of the same heartaches and disappointments? Only to prove all the years and puddle of tears were a waste of time and energy.
The truth is, we don't attract what we want. We attract what our subconscious mind will tolerate. The golden rule of love is: love yourself first, before you love anyone else. The person who'll love you will love you the same way you love yourself. If you've learned your lesson from your past relationships, if you learn to fall in love with yourself first (please don't get this confused with being cocky or being a selfish asshole)—I mean love and respect yourself―you'll upgrade in the next relationship. In the meantime, you have to forgive yourself.
Once you stop tolerating less than the love you'd give to yourself, the pain will be gone and you won't be angry anymore. One day it'll just get better. There's usually no reason or explanation, you just wake up a brand new person that's worth fighting for.